Total D-Bag??

When Zlatan got sent off for giving Salvatore Aronica an open-handed bitch slap in the weekends Milan v Napoli draw, I couldn't help but feel it was another harsh red card for the poor guy.  I mean, watch the video, he was trying to be a good teammate and extract his buddy Nocerino from an unnecessary fracas.  Ever the peace-maker and supportive comrade (as Oguchi Onyewu can attest), Ibra just seems to find himself in the wrong place at the wrong time.  He is a good dude.  He is fun to have around the training ground.  I have provided a few video examples of how his good-natured joshing really brings the locker room together. 

-Take a look at his playfulness on display here while on international duty.
-Here is again, teasing a brother at Milan, but showing he's not racist by going to chill afterword with Ronaldinho
-Or this fun filled display with Antonio Cassano... look at the wry smile Cassano flashes at his pal
-He even lets inanimate practice dummies in on the fun.
-In this seldom witnessed display, teammate Luca Antonini tries to turn the tables on Mr. Personality, but you can see he is scared shitless at his folly.

You know, as I review the evidence, I wonder if I misjudged this cat.  Perhaps he is the teammate that we have all had, a total d-bag that everyone tolerates because he is the best player on the team and when push comes to shove, he can beat your ass*.  I bet even the grown men on his team go home to their wives after practice and when asked how their day was, the say "I hate Zlatan, otherwise it was pretty good."
It is no wonder he never fit in at Barcelona.  The first time he ninja kicked Pedro from behind, poor Pedro wept.  He once tried to judo chop Messi, but Messi dodged it, stayed on his feet, cut between 3 defenders, played a 1-2 with Xavi and buried a curling shot in the top corner.  A team hug followed, Ibrahimovic abstained... after this the entire team gave Zlatan the silent treatment.  That was the meanest thing Barca could do, you see with the exception of Carlos Puyol, all FCB players and staff are Quakers... and so it goes.(this information is yet to be verified)
Anyway, it sort of breaks my heart that Zlatan is such an idiot because he is so fun to watch.  Milan is sitting in second right now with games against Udinese (3rd) and Juventus (1st) on the horizon.  He will not be available for either of those games because bitch slapping dudes named Salvatore is not a good idea. Now we have to watch Robinho do shit like this... and this.  As a Juve supporter, I think this is terrific news, but it seems like at some point his teammates, his coaches and the team ownership will just get fed up and send him packing. When that happens, and it should, he will end up doing blow and playing golf with Carlos Tevez and Diego Maradona at some posh resort in Dubai.  Which is still kind of an awesome life. 

*The ass-beating exception being Gooch, who clearly ain't to be flexed wit.